With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world...

Hello, my name is Anthony....

2008-09-12T08:26:00.000-07:00

and I'm the new youth director for Foothills United Methodist Church.

YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm sorry. I've had a lot on my mind with the new job, but now I've got it and I'm really truly happy. I'm incredibly moved that they chose me, as I was in a pool of very well qualified applicants. I know this because, well, they are my friends.

more to come...

When one thing settles, there is always something else stirring up.... somewhere

2008-08-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

The loss of a friend will never be forgotten, especially Atip. He will always be remembered in pictures, smiles, and his ghost bike memorial on Park and University. It's finally getting back to some sort of normal. We must remember to smile through everything. If you're smiling, it's hard to make enemies. Thanks Atip's dad.

So it's been 19 days since my last post. I've been busy with lots of things, especially this past weekend. I had a lot of family in town this weekend, about 17 cousins, aunts and uncles staying at my parents' house and countless others. We had a family wedding on Friday, my mom's birthday party on Saturday and on Sunday we just had the fam over to hang out. They all got to head over to Vegas that night and I got to go to work on Monday morning. Lame.

Ohhh and Rachel got a new puppy that has to stay at my house. Her name is Ginger and she's a chiweenie, a chihuahua-daschaund mix. Really cute, but she's waking me up in the middle of the night now. Not fun.

Work right now is okay.... well, I really just think I'm over it. Over it in the sense that I've pretty much reached the peak of my job here and it's not very fulfilling. I feel like a robot here sometimes and that's not really how I want to live out my life, work 8-430 then go home and sleep so that I can wake up the next morning to do it again. I need substance to my work. I need to know that I'm doing something to help make the world a little bit better. Last week at my church they posted the job application for youth director. I had been talking to my friends who I volunteer in the youth group with for a little bit and they suggested that I apply for it. I thought about it a lot and decided that this was the thing for me. There have been a few occurences around me that I took as signs that I should apply for this. A few weeks back one of my faculty members/previous professor/ friend left a package for me at my desk. I opened it and it was the book Three Cups of Tea. I had seen the book around, and heard a little bit about it. It was about a climber who wanted to build schools in Asia/the middle East. Little did I know how unbelievable his story was. I teared up a few times reading the book, and it made me think, what are you doing with your life? What are you doing to make a difference in this world? I want to do something like that. I'm trying not to give too much away in the book because I think everyone should read it. I don't want to give you a cliff's notes version of it. Another sign that I came upon, was surprisingly from a health website, T-nation.com(I know, I know. Don't laugh). Here is what I read in the "Atomic Dog" section.... I'll bold the parts that stand out for me.

ATOMIC DOG
Slay the Dragon
by TC

Oh man, that Ernie leads some great life!

He's always got his suitcase with him, one of those numbers with a collapsible handle and tiny polyurethane wheels. Who knows what exotic places he's off to? Too bad he's closemouthed about his travels. Whenever you ask him where he's going he says, "Life is one big trip, buddy."

I've never met anyone whose life is so full of leisure activities. One night he's off to a Cheryl Crow concert and the next morning he's off to some concert downtown or some new art exhibition. It's the same day after day. Granted it's not shit I want to do, but his life, at least to him, is full.

People in town don't know what he did for a living (he clearly retired early, what with all that free time), but they know he travels a lot and just yesterday they saw him driving a brand new Lexus.

Most people figure he was a stockbroker; one of those Masters of the Universe who got out while the getting was good.

I know Ernie's secret, though.

Ernie is homeless. The ever-present suitcase? It contains everything he owns. The constant activities? The guy is a master of free — he knows every no-charge event in the tri-county area. And the Sheryl Crow Concert? He simply took advantage of "Dollar Day" at the county fair and she was the featured has-been performer.

The Lexus was just part of a promotion by the local car dealer: "Take a Test Drive and Lunch is on us!" Sure, for driving a new car around the block a few times, he got a 20-dollar gift certificate for a much-appreciated lunch.

Ernie "passes" because he doesn't look like a homeless guy. His clothes are always clean and pressed, but that's just part of another one of Ernie's survival tactics: he sleeps outside the public library, but every third day or so he scrounges up enough money to spend a night in a cheap hotel where he takes advantage of the free soap and water to clean up.

Tragically, pathetically, whatever synonym of sadly you want to throw in, Ernie is almost universally envied by the real stockbrokers in town. They don't know he's homeless. All they see is a seemingly happy guy who doesn't live by the clock or kiss someone's ass all day long.

"That guy sure knows how to live," is the usual sentiment, followed by "I can't wait until I'm retired, man."

A homeless guy is leading a better life than they are!

Despite their trappings of wealth — their restored Jaguars, the enormous "chronometers" on their wrists, their bleached blonde, augmented wives with puffy bovine connective-tissue injected cock-nibbling lips — they're envious of a guy with zero possessions

Somewhere the demons are laughing.

Now I'm not sure what happened to Ernie, why he dropped out of the workforce, but I don't think it was a pathological aversion to work. I think it's because work sucks. Oh, I'm not talking about my job, I'm talking about Ernie's former job and just maybe, yours.

If you're the average person, chances are your job is too small for you, too small for your spirit, too small for your soul. I don't think it used to be that way, at least to the degree it is now.

Author and historian Studs Terkel wrote a book named Working about 35 years ago. In it he detailed the working lives of regular folks, people who were rarely heard from like gravediggers, construction workers, and waitresses.

Despite the relatively mundane nature of their work, a good percentage of them took immense pride in their work. The supermarket checker had elevated her job into practically an art form, hitting the keys with one hand and pushing the food along with another while periodically whacking the conveyor button with her hip. She knew what everything costs, and when she was away from her job more than a day or two, she missed it.

Likewise, the gravedigger was proud of his neat lines and square edges, explaining that, "A human body is goin' into this grave. That's why you need skill when you're gonna' dig a grave."

The waitress bragged about how when she put a plate down, it didn't make a sound, and how there was a certain delicate way to pick up a dropped fork. She reasoned that every time she served a meal, "she was on stage."

A hospital billing-agent talked about looking in on a patient who'd lost his leg. A flight attendant talked about how she was supposed to spend at least 30 minutes of every flight socializing with passengers.

Terkel found that even for the lowliest laborer, work was a search "for daily meaning as well as daily bread."

But you don't need me to tell you that situations like this are becoming increasingly rare. Competence is rare. Enthusiasm is rare. Giving a shit is rare.

And I'm hardly the only one lamenting this change of atmosphere.

Even Presidential candidate Barack Obama wrote about this problem in his book, The Audacity of Hope:

Nothing brightens my day more than dealing with somebody, anybody, who takes pride in their work and goes the extra mile — an accountant, a plumber, a three-star general, the person on the other end of the phone who actually seems to want to solve your problem. My encounters with such competence seem more and more sporadic lately; I seem to spend more time looking for somebody in the store to help me or waiting for my deliveryman to show. Other people must notice this; it makes us all cranky, and those of us in government, no less than in business, ignore such perceptions at their own peril.

Part of what's changed is that just about everyone under 30 carries around a big emotional grande frappe contaminated with feelings of entitlement, over-inflated feelings of self-worth, and a residual sense of twisted reality caused by watching too many beer commercials showing people with no visible means of support having tons of consequence–free sex.

How can they help but feel that work isn't necessarily connected to living?

"Work" is an intangible, something you occasionally have to do to earn some scratch on your way to finding that thing that allows you to make tons of money for just being you, wonderful you.

But I don't think that's the burr that was up Ernie's butt, nor do I think it's the reason most grounded types are fed up with their jobs. I think it's the changing face of the legal system and evolving business philosophies that play a bigger part of this "quality drought."

Specifically, according to an article in The New York Times, new technologies and new management styles have put workers on "digital assembly lines" with "little room for creativity or independent thought."

A sizeable amount of the work force is now employed in call centers where they follow canned scripts and are supervised by a method called "management by stress."

Store clerks are paralyzed from making any decision on their own, no matter how fair it might seem, because the entire nation has its balls wrapped tightly in "company policy."

"We're sorry that your box of granola contained a nipple ring, parts of a human head, and a desiccated pork chop, but our manager's not here, and we're not allowed to offer refunds without his okay. Company policy, you know."

I can't believe any clerk saying such things isn't deeply ashamed; doesn't know that that's not the way things are supposed to work.

Physicians and healthcare workers in general tend to patients using a watery blend of medical science, dictums issued by managed-care administrators, and cover-your-ass-from-legal-implications protocols.

So it's probably not hard to understand why a lot of people work in hell. But it's silly to think things are magically going to change overnight. You can assume all the personal responsibility you like, but sometimes it won't make a difference.

Sometimes you just have to bolt.

Oh I know it's not always possible. Maybe you have a wife or 2.2 children and a big fat mortgage. I get it. But sometimes it's fear.

I used to be a cubicle worker; one of those guys who was depressed from Sunday night all the way through Friday afternoon. I had aspirations of writing — writing something other than computer manuals for the government — but somewhere along the way my balls had shrunk.

Looking back, I think it had something to do with my office mate. John fancied himself a science fiction writer and he had a shelf-full of rejected manuscripts. John thought he was a great writer and he couldn't understand why he wasn't sitting behind a desk at Comic-Con signing autographs for guys dressed like space aliens.

But I knew why. John's writing sucked, really, really, sucked. I could see it, but he couldn't.

In my serotonin-depleted brain, paranoia began to grow. I started to think that maybe I was like John, walking around thinking I could write when the truth was, I really, really sucked.

So I didn't do anything about it. For years.

John helped create what mythology professor Joseph Campbell called my dragon. Campbell believed the dragon is one's binding of oneself to one's ego. He would have said I was captured in my own dragon cage.

Luckily, I was able to disintegrate the dragon by anger, desperation, and sheer will.

For others, it may not be so easy. They might not even know what their dragon is, or what they would do if they could kill their dragon.

Campbell had some thoughts on that as well. He often wrote about "following your bliss," that which makes you feel the most happy — "not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy."

Once you find it, he advised, stay with it, no matter what people tell you.

If they tell you not to go north, go north. If they tell you to walk, run. If they tell you bow down and curtsy, stand up and stick a fist in their eye.

"You can't have creativity unless you leave behind the bounded, the fixed, all the rules."

One of my favorite movie passages, one that makes me practically tear up every time I see it, is from Good Will Hunting. The characters played by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are sucking down a couple of beers on a construction site and their discussing the future of boy-genius Will (Matt Damon).

Will is a reluctant genius, though. He can pretty much do anything but his complex dragons have him resigned to a lifetime of manual labor. His friend Chuckie, a run of the mill wanker, is still smart enough to recognize Will's talent and he's incensed that Will refuses to "leave behind the bounded":

CHUCKIE: Are they hookin' you up with a job?

WILL: Yeah, sit in a room and do long division for the next fifty years.

CHUCKIE: Yah, but it's better than this shit. At least you'd make some nice bank.

WILL: Yeah, be a fuckin' lab rat.

CHUCKIE: It's a way outta here.

WILL: What do I want a way outta here for? I want to live here the rest of my life. I want to be your next-door neighbor. I want to take our kids to little league together up to Foley Field.

CHUCKIE: Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way, but in 20 years, if you're livin' next door to me, comin' over watchin' the fuckin' Patriots' games and still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. And that's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you.

WILL: Chuckie, what are you talkin'...

CHUCKIE: Listen, you got somethin' that none of us have.

WILL: Why is it always this? I owe it to myself? What if I don't want to?

CHUCKIE: Fuck you. You owe it to me. Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty and I'll still be doin' this. And that's all right 'cause I'm gonna make a run at it. But you, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit 'cause I'd do anything to have what you got! And so would any of these guys. It'd be a fuckin' insult to us if you're still here in twenty years.

WILL: You don't know that.

CHUCKIE: Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up, and we go out drinkin' or whatever and we have a few laughs. But you know what the best part of my day is? The ten seconds before I knock on the door 'cause I let myself think I might get there, and you'd be gone. I'd knock on the door and you wouldn't be there. You just left.

Now, I don't know much. But I know that.

If your job's not big enough for your spirit, you have a few choices, clench your teeth and bear it until you die, drop out like Ernie, or find a job big enough for your spirit.

Now. I don't know much. But I know that.

Hopefully I'll be able to slay the Dragon soon...

Goodbye my friend

2008-07-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

Atip Ouypron, 22 years old, was hit by a car a week ago, Thursday night around midnight on Park and University. They pulled him off life support on Saturday after his family made it into town. It's so sad that someone so young and full of life is no longer with us. He was a good guy too, a real good guy. I saw him on Tuesday night, saw pictures of him from Wednesday night on Thursday and the next morning find out it was him. Didn't know the gravity of it until later that day and the next day I went to the hospital to visit him and then they took him off life support. It's so crazy how things can change in an instant. A memorial was held for him at the intersection and his closest friends made a ghostbike. It was awesome to see San Diego's cycling community and others come together and gather to pay their respects. Please everyone, if you're riding a bicycle, wear a helmet and use lights. Ride in Peace, Atip, ride in peace. The rest of you, take care

Article in signonsandiego

Been Itching, but couldn't find the source

2008-07-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

I've really been wanting to blog lately, it's just that I couldn't. Sorry for the delay but there are a few things I'm keeping under wraps because I don't want to jinx them. It's hard for me to be in certain situations that may or may not change my life because I always hype myself up for them and sometimes they just don't work out for one reason or another. It sounds bad, but I'm pretty much over my job right now. That doesn't mean I won't work hard any more but it does mean, however, that I will probably be looking for something new. Suggestions? I finished Three Cups of Tea about two weeks ago and I have come to the realization that I need to do something that makes a difference. I know my job helps people, but I want to have more of a part of it. I want to be part of the machine that makes the world a better place.

starting to get that crazy feeling again

2008-06-17T09:24:00.000-07:00

So every once in a while I get bored. Not just the regular bored, because I get that all the time. When I get this "super boredom" it drives me nuts. I basically want to do something, but I feel that there isn't anything to do when in all actuality, I have hundreds of things I could be doing. It pisses me off, makes me feel a little depressed because I feel that I am a lackluster version of my former self.
I used to be full of energy, going out all the time, staying up all hours of the night, drinking the whole week and waking up in the morning awake and in enough time to make breakfast before work.
Now I'm going to sleep at 11 because I'm bored and I have to get up at 6 in order to get on my bike by 6:30 so I can go to the gym and shower to be at work by 8.
Mehh, it's funny how things are. I was sort of down when I started writing this entry, but then all of a sudden I came to the conclusion that I won't let myself be bored or not content with my life. I need to make the best of it. Maybe I was thinking about all of this because of the book I'm reading, which is Three Cups of Tea. Really good read, I'm not done with it yet, but I'd recommend it. It made me tear up more than a few times.

Enough of this really crappy rant, time to enjoy my life, even though I'm at work.

It's New Bike Day!!

2008-06-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right. I bought a new bike last night. Well, new for me. It's a vintage Italian Benotto road bike with Modolo brakes and Campy Nuovo Record Components. It's pretty nice, not gonna lie. I also bought a new Brooks B17 Special saddle, which after riding into work from two miles away, really does need to be broken in. I almost bought a slightly used (less than 150 miles) 2008 Specialized Allez Double from a guy on the forum I subscribe to, but fell in love with the Benotto when I test rode it.

Summertime

2008-05-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

And the livin's not really easy. It's fine though, don't worry. I don't really get a Summer any more since I've started working. I'm trying to pay off all my loans so I can just start spending my money on, well, money that I've already spent and interest I haven't. Time for one of my lists that I may or may not complete.

I have started reading more books lately. I've been reading mostly memoirs, which include Tuesdays with Morrie (which I've read two times already), Into the Wild, and Three Cups of Tea. I started with Into the Wild, but was at the bookstore and saw Tuesdays and picked that up and finished in three days. I'm now reading Three Cups of Tea, which is a really great book so far.

As you know, I have been riding bikes A LOT lately, and it is now a pretty big obsession, especially with the way gas prices have ben going. Actually, I went to CNN.com tday to see what was going on with the world and saw this as the big headline,

As gas goes up, driving goes down.

The Department of Transportation said figures from March show the steepest decrease in driving ever recorded.

Compared with March a year earlier, Americans drove an estimated 4.3 percent less -- that's 11 billion fewer miles, the DOT's Federal Highway Administration said Monday, calling it "the sharpest yearly drop for any month in FHWA history." Records have been kept since 1942.

According to AAA, for the first time since 2002, Americans said they were planning to drive less over the Memorial Day weekend than they did the year before.

Looks like I'm going to buy a road bike pretty soon!

Along with cycling, I've been wanting to be healthier. My friend has been talking about triathlons, and I've always said I wanted to do one but never have. So my best friend Cory and I are going to sign up for the Sprint Triathlon in Mission Bay in October.

I also want to be more artistic. I haven't really painted anything in a while, and I've just put some

of my old stuff up on our living room and I am itching to do some other stuff, I just need some ideas.

Summertime slows down and I get pretty bored. Let's see what I can do with my time.

RIDE TO WORK DAY!!!!

2008-05-16T13:56:00.001-07:00

So today is bike to work day! Actually, it should be ride your bike to work day or cycle to work day. Bikers have long beards and ride motorcycles. Anyway, I went to sleep at 11:30 last night and woke up at 6. I was wide awake because I was really anxious about it. I had never ridden this route, and I didn't know how I'd do fixed geared on the route. I live up in Serra Mesa, which is on a hil, and then the end of the route is riding up Montezuma from Fairmount. I got ready to ride and set off for the adventure. Getting out of my neighborhood was a little bit rough as I live on a hill with a pretty big incline. My muscles were definitely weren't awake and warmed up yet, so I was feeling tired already. I got over to Mission Center Rd and started down the steep hill. A guy on a road bike flew past me because I couldn't coast and I didn't want to let my legs pedal uncontrollably and for me to crash somehow. I made it down the hill no problem and then caught up to the guy around Ralphs and Incahoots. He was in his 50's and very nice. He complemented my beautiful beater bike, saw it was fixed and realized how he had past me going down the hill. He was heading to Old Town to ride around Oceanside and ride back. We parted ways by Mission Valley and I stopped to buy a water bottle at the ARCO. I took Camino Del Rio North, the road the Dave and Busters is on and took that all the way to Fairmount. Camino Del Rio going eastward is on a little bit of an incline, but it wasn't too bad. I liked that part of the ride. More relaxing as you don't have to worry about too much traffic. I saw a lot of cyclists, and we either waved or nodded to each other, the camaraderie I enjoyed very much, because it made me feel even more proud of myself for doing this. Back to the route, anyway, I hit Fairmount/Montezuma and started the hill. It wasn't too bad at first, and I was riding on the sidewalk because it's a little bit easier to ride on than asphault. About halfway up to the Talmadge Canyon area stoplight I was struggling, trying to keep my breathing good. I winced at the last few pedal strokes but was relieved I made it up to the light. I took a 2-minute breather and then pressed onward. I made it up to the 54th St. light and rested again. I could see 55th St, the point where I can say "I made it!" and I pressed on as hard as I could until the rode leveled out. Out of breath and tired I slowly rode down Montezuma to College Ave where Zumwalt's(the bike shop in the college area) was hosting the pit stop along with SDSU. I had a cup of water, took some Clif bars and an apple then rode proudly into work.

The ride was difficult, but do-able. Thinking about it more, I have now decided that I'm going to buy an old road bike and restore it so that I can ride that into work hopefully two to three days a week. I can't wait to test out the hill on Mission Center Rd. on the way home= (

Track class

2008-05-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

Once again, it's been over a week since I've posted... but there really hasn't been much to report. Gas prices are up, which sucks really bad, because I drive a lot. They say gas should go up to 5.00 a gallon by the end of Summer But, this also makes me appreciate riding my bike more and makes it more fun. I'm thinking about getting a road bike in the next few months so that I can commute to work. It'll be great because I will save a lot of money on gas and it's great exercise and training for the track, but I will definitely have to wake up a lot earlier. I'll probably try to ride my fixie to school and I think the only hard parts will be the start and finish, down mission center road and up fairmount on a fairly high gearing and vice versa on the way back. Today starts my eating healthier so I can keep up with the track homies. Also, more roller training.

Track classes started yesterday, and let me tell you, it was a heck of a lot of fun! I'm taking the class with about 25 of my fellow bike nerd friends, and we are all basically going to be racing each other this whole summer in class and possibly at the Tuesday night races. It's such a thrill getting up to 20-25 mph (so far) and just whipping around the track. My new track frame should be here within the next few weeks and my buddy Eugene is hooking me up with quality parts until I have the $ to buy my own... Here is the build cost of what I want on my bike.

Frame- 210$, bought on ebay a few nights ago
Bottom Bracket- 85$
Crankset- 180$
Pedals (including cages and toe straps)- 103 + 13 + 50
Headset- 107
Stem- 125
Handlebars- 45
Chain- 50
Chainring- 90
Rear cog and lockring- 75
Seatpost-120
Seat- 75
Wheelset- at least 250$

Now this also doesn't include tires and tubes and other accessories. So already, this bike is costing me around 1600. But it's all going to be worth it once it's complete = )

Anthony's Stolen Three =)

2008-04-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

So... I've gone onto my blogger multiple times within the past week or so, but I couldn't find anything to write about. I still don't have much, but I guess I'll do a "stolen three" post. The Stolen Three is my friend B's blog and she posts the three things that made her happy that day or within the past few days. Here are my stolen three...

1) Hanging out with the roommates in our backyard. We spent about two hours outside enjoying the cool water. We always come up with the most harebrained (is that it? hair-brained? what does that mean?Just looked it up, it works) schemes and they're pretty ridiculous. Last weekend we tried to set a static rope (these are climbing ropes that have some, or in this case, a lot of stretch to them) from our tree house to the chimney so we could use Colin's ascenders to get up to the treehouse and then zipline back down. We were able to get it to what we thought was taut enough, but then I took another rope and pulled down at the midpoint of the line and it sagged too much. 45 minutes of prep all gone to waste, but it was fun to think about it. Yesterday, we set up a slackline across our pool. It wasn't high off of the water, but we thought we might still be able to make it across. For those of you who don't know what slacklining is, it is basically tightrope walking, but instead of a tight rope, it's a slackline, usually a one-inch wide line of webbing. It started out with climbers, finding this as fun thing to do while camping, and also helps the balance. So yea, I got the furthest, and I made it to the center of the pool, but my feet were in the water, and water does not help stabilize you, it makes you feel like your balancing in quicksand. But yea, we're definitely going to do it again.

2)Penelope- She's such a good dog, really... with the exception to her getting out and running all around the neighborhood. She can sit, lay down, shake, five, high five, roll-over, bang bang(play dead) and other tricks. Yesterday we brought her into the pool and we had her riding all over on the boogie board.

3) Work- It's air-conditioned.. enough said!

Happy Friday!

2008-04-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, there is nothing better than the feeling of coming to work on Friday morning, knowing that once that clock hits 4:30pm, you’re out of there and you don’t have to be there for two full days. This week has gone by pretty slowly. It hasn’t been crazy slow like when you look at the clock at 10:00 and then you think a few hours have passed and when you look again it’s only 10:38. It’s funny how I look forward to going home everyday, only to get there and leave for somewhere else half an hour later. Let’s see what I did this week… Monday, well, I stayed home and relaxed with Penelope (the pup). Tuesday I went to culinary class where we learned how to poach, got out early and then headed to the velodrome to drink a little and watch the races with the homies. Wednesday I went to the (Ye Olde) bike shop and hung out there for a bit looking for a 53-54 cm road frame to build a bike up for Rachel. After that I went to the gym for a little bit and then went home and hung out with the roomies. We went to Bennigan’s as we traditionally do now for Burger Wednesdays. You can get one of their delicious burgers for five bucks! Last night I came home and hung out for a bit and then headed to the East Village (Eighth and Market) and rode with the E.Vill Doers. This is the primary “fixed” crew I roll with. We went through Little Italy and Old Town to get to Fashion Valley and hung out there for a bit. We hung out and just loitered around different parking structures and then headed back. A few of us went to ramen afterwards, which was really tasty. Tonight I’m going on the Velo Cult ride, where we’re probably going up to UCSD and then riding through La Jolla Shores and Birdrock. So yea, it’s a non-stop party for this kid. Haha, maybe that’s why I still haven’t beaten this cold. This weekend I’m staying home, though. Well, maybe on Saturday. Sunday’s Earth Day at Balboa park.

Really disappointing

2008-04-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

I went over to my parents' house this Sunday after church and everything is going just like normal. Until my mom asks me about the job I applied for. I broke the news to her, and she asks me what I'm going to do now. I told her I wasn't sure, which was the truth. I told her I really wanted to work within student affairs and then she went off asking how I was going to do that if there were no jobs. She offered to pay my way through the credential program then. Very enticing, but it's just not something I want to do right now. I like student affairs and I love culinary school. And then my parents, who I thought were at least a little bit supporting of me and my dreams basically told me I was going nowhere with culinary school and I needed to think about how I'm going to live my life and think about a practical job, put my education to use and blah blah blah. By that point my anger pretty much muted anything else they said to me on the subject. I fully understand what they were saying underneath; they don't want me to struggle, they want me to have a secure job. When I talked to my dad (who I thought would try to understand at least a littl bit), he basically told me I needed to "stop dicking around". That hit hard, so I went inside, hugged my grandma and mom, then Rachel and I left. It's funny, that as a little kid, your parents would say you could do anything you wanted, and then how many years later, would they seem so different from what you remembered. At what point do you stop trying to please your parents and start listening to yourself and what you want to do.

Inspiring Words

2008-04-10T11:52:00.001-07:00

Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!—Og Mandino

Self-realization

2008-04-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

So I applied for a different job on campus, as an academic advisor/ peer advising counselor, and I called in the other day to see where they were in the process. They said if I hadn't heard from them yet, then unfortunately, I wasn't getting the job. It's pretty depressing, I'm not gonna lie. I would have been great at the job. I love doing student services work. My job now was really just something to pay the bills, maybe get my foot in the door somewhere. I do love my job, well, the people that I deal with (students) and (most of) the people that I work with. My position, however, is mostly clerical. Basically, my professional position title, would be "Paper Pusher". I know I am destined for more, and that is what is making my job a little less desireable to me. It isn't really keeping me happy, and to me, that is a big big problem. To my parents' dismay, I told them that I want to find something that I want to do, not something I have to do to survive. My dad, I think understands me. But my mom, she's just worried about me being good financially. I understand the deeper meaning, she doesn't want me to struggle like she and my dad did when they were young, but I am okay with working hard, especially if it's what I love doing. One thing that I really do love doing these days, is cooking. Culinary arts. I watch FoodTV all of the time, and my favorite show is Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. If I were ever to own a restaurant, it would be a diner. I like talking to people, the connection that food makes with people. I want to be like the bartender, the one who talks to people, hears them out, and even shells out advice. When I'm bored, I cook. It's fun to me, and I think I can dedicate myself enough to gain the skills to go somewhere in the industry. I think I may become a substitute teacher in the Fall and then work at REI or a restaurant a few nights a week. It'd be more work than where I'm at now, but I really feel like I want to pursue this. This is my life, and I want to be able to choose my journey, difficult or not.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

saw this online

2008-04-08T15:41:00.000-07:00

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition,

There are still untapped possibilities within us

and new beauty waiting to be born.

- Dale Turner

Rollin with the homies

2008-04-08T11:44:00.000-07:00

So I picked up some sweet cycling rollers yesterday from Ye Olde Bike Shop on University. Older Dave hooked me up for 75 bucks!

Bicycle rollers are a type of bicycle trainer which makes it possible to ride a bicycle indoors without moving forward. However, unlike other types of bicycle trainers, rollers do not attach to the bicycle frame, and the rider must balance him or herself on the rollers while training. Bicycle rollers normally consist of three cylinders, drums, or "rollers" (two for the rear wheel and one for the front), on top of which the bicycle rides. A belt connects one of the rear rollers to the front roller, causing the front wheel of the bicycle to spin when the bicycle is pedaled. The spacing of bicycle rollers can usually be adjusted to match the bicycle's wheelbase. Generally, the front roller is adjusted to be slightly ahead of the hub of the front wheel.
-Taken from Wikipedia

I've tried rollers a few times, and they are incredibly hard, but my friends say that once you get it down, it really helps your cycling. What's cool about these rollers is that I can adjust the resistance. So I got home and I move my couch to the side bit and lay my beer pong table down on the carpet( the rollers can't be on the carpet because the drums will rub on the ground). I set the rollers on the wood and adjusted the front roller to fit good on my wheel. I set the bike on and grab onto the couch for stability and start pedaling. First thought, my pedaling is way off, I need to work on my cadence. After a minute or so I decide to speed up, because they say the faster you go the better your balance. So I pedal faster until I get a good even cadence and let go for a second. DON'T LOOK AT THE HUB OR THE ROLLERS! I grab onto the couch again. I decide to look a few feet in front of me on the ground. This feels better. So I let go and I'm actually riding the rollers! Keep your eyes in front of you, and OOPS I looked down! I tried to slow down, and then was able to stop, but I was further away from the couch to grab it. Like a redwood falling in the forest, I tipped over and fell to the ground. I'm not giving up on rollers though, I just need to keep practicing.

OOOOHHH!!

2008-04-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

Forgot something.... So, I've been thinking about getting a tattoo very recently, and I think I foudn what I would like to get. I'm really into Traditional(sailor style stuff) and traditional Asian tattoos, and I think I would like my first tattoo would be of a fu dog. A fu dog is also known by many names, such as a shishi, or and imperial lion. Basically, they are protectors, usually in pairs. I think I will only get one for now, maybe the other later. Here is an imperial lion statue

The paintings of these Imperial lions are really not too appealing to me. I have the idea to have it being a statue that is coming to life, little chunks of rock breaking off, and it sort of changing positions from where it's at. I want the swirling clouds around the lion and (at least) six lotus or cherry blossoms around it, symbolizing my parents, grandmother, sister, brother, and myself. I am not super close to my other grandparents, but I just thought about them and I have decided I will not get (at least) eight blossoms around it. I think I want the tattoo t be placed around my ribs (I know it will hurt a lot), my lower left front abdomen area, or my back left shoulder blade. I don't know why, but I do want it on my left side. This idea is coming together more than any other idea

.Blossoms and shadows/clouds like this

WOO! I like it!

Stranger than Fiction

2008-04-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

So I'm watching Stranger Than Fiction on the DVR and I just wondered what it may be like to have your whole life narrated by some strange person, maybe an English woman, like in the movie. Moreover, I wondered if I had my life narrated, would my life seem as boring as Mr. Harold Crick. Thinking about it, my life wouldn't be like Harold Crick, because my life is pretty erratic. By choice, of course... I like not planning out my whole week, although the idea does seem appealing. On one hand I want to have a schedule, I want to plan out what I'm doing after work, who I'm hanging out with in the evening, etc. etc. But then on the other hand, I like being open to doing other things, mostly depending on my mood. I guess my narrator would say something to the point of Mr. Aranico was tested for ADD multiple times when he was younger, but never diagnosed with it. The doctors said that he was just bored... Through his childhood and into his current adulthood, he has always found something new to do, something else to see... I think I would freak out like Harold did in the movie. Random post, eh? I think I'm done.

Gettin E.Vill tonight!

2008-04-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

Really stoked for the E.Vill doers ride tonight, it's always a good time. The E.Vill doers ride out of East Village (downtown, 8th and Market) and we typically ride at least 15 miles in a night. No, this isn't your typical easy flatland ride either. We take on hills with pretty wicked inclines, mashing our legs down into the cranks to get to the top of the hill and then bomb down the other side of it. The other week, we took 1st St, which is a crazy huge rolling hill up to Presidio Park and rode that all the way down to Old Town. That road is pretty crazy in the dark. But yea, it's gonna be a good night.

Blog!!

2008-04-01T01:17:00.000-07:00

After a series of failed blog attempts, I am yet again making an attempt to do so. Anyway, I think I may have ADD. Here is a list of my current hobbies/interests. Bikes(specifically fixed gear/track), climbing, photography (I have recently acquired lots of free darkroom equipment and am planning on going to a photo supply store in Little Italy this week to get everything else I need to start out), food/culinary arts, classic cars/trucks... that's all I think of right now, I was hopped up on RedBull just a little bit ago, but I think it' wearing off. Those are probably what the majority of my posts will be about, with more to come, I'm sure.

Some pictures of trucks I would like to buy/ restored (these are obviously already restored)